You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
True strength comes from lack of pants
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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