are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I think people are normalizing furries
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
