We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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