would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
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