when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
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