Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
