yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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