Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
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Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
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If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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