But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
