TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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