from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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