I want to stick my p in your. b.
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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