tell your sister to shave her snatch
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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