I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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