so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
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WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
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Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
soo... how was my night?
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