Say something about gay babies.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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