Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Randomize
