He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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