maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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