Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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