I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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