im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
