I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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