you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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