Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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