would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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