I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
