Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Randomize
