I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
