You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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