meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Randomize
