Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize