Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
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