He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize