Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
