I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
