While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
the liver wants what the liver wants
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
