I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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