Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
