I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Randomize
