you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
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I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
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