were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
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