STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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