Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
