im gay
i know
yea but for you.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
