hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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