dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you traded sex for a burrito?
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
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