Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
