to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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