the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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