after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
