ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
