are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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