I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
