Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize