My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...