"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.