my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.