If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
