We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
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If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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