you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
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