i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
