Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
