I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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